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Miss_Understands's user avatar
Miss_Understands's user avatar
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Miss_Understands
  • Member for 4 months
  • Last seen this week
About

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PASSIONS

  • Topological inversion (inside-out transformation)
  • Pseudometrics (metric spaces with negative distance)
  • SR. I'm too stupid for GR. I don't understand anything that actually exists. Especially humans.
  • Null hypersurfaces (mainly, the null cone and event horizons). They have extent in space but not time.
  • Current project: Trying reeeally hard to see spacetime from the point of view of null (Dirac) coordinates — what light really sees (distance w/o time, but with angular momentum in 2 other dimensions. I think).

Valedictorian of Computer Sci dept (just 1 semester). Masters in digital security and forensics. Awards at nuc engineering company (neutron embrittlement / gamma spectroscopy). Systems programming.

Known elsewhere as Luxi Turna, a play on my first name and Lux Æterna (the Eternal Light, which I think of as life). The spark of life cannot die. Life lives forever.

It just doesn't live in one person very long. It makes a new person inside you that forces itself out of you. Life crawls into the new body, then leaves you behind like the husk of the alien face hugger that felt compelled to continue the wonderful Cycle of Life.

But being autistic is only just context failure. You don't see life like I do. All you know is, you love your children. You want to pass your love on to them, as they will to their children -- your grandchildren.

Context. I don't have any. I'm lost. I'm wandering around blind. See?

VULCAN-LEVEL INTEGRITY — THERMIAN-LEVEL AUTISM

Social retardation and AvPD (psychotic-level shyness) render me (literally) unable to look at people or talk above a mumble/whisper. I CANT READ YOUR INTENTIONS OR EMOTIONS. If I seem abrupt or rude, it's actually cancer of the honesty, which I identify as science. I'm excessively direct; I literally can't help it. I'm not like this on purpose. Autistic people try hard to emulate normal, but it's a disability.

Horrible unspeakable social interface disasters leave me a burned-up, burned-out, burned-down, wreckage doing "sex work" for a group house of intelligent slackers in exch for room & food. (Example: Intelligent = college professor. Slacker = I have to correct his students' essays).

That did indeed start off exciting, but quickly became unpleasant and disgusting. Like if you have to keep smoking cigarettes when you don't want to. I sometimes feel like I'm trapped in a sewer.

I'm horribly autistic. It's not my fault.

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